Tag Archives: support

Talking about mental health



Talking about mental health is hard, my mum has Bi-polar disorder. I spent years as a child and teenager feeling embarrassed that my mum was different, back then she spent several times a year in the hospital, hospitalisation is what they did then. I eventually found out the name for my mum’s illness, but that didn’t really help me, the name didn’t tell me how to support her or what support she needed, the name didn’t give me or my sister any support. So I learned, I read everything I could, I spoke to consultants, I spoke to Gp ’s, I spoke to mental health nurses, I spent my late teens and early 20’s finding out everything I could. I wanted to know if I would also develop Bi-polar, I wanted to know about the medication and what it did and how it affected her behavior, I wanted to know if my children would get Bi-polar.

Over the years I started to insist on naming what Mum had, I realised it was nothing to be shameful of and that families needed to be able to talk about it. The other reason to talk about it is that where there is a mental illness, families need support. They may not always need support; but when a parent is having a bad episode the schools need to know so that they can offer more emotional support to the child. If an adult is having a low time they need friends to support them.

We know that poor mental health effects so many people, in so many ways, and it is unbelievably hard for the person with the illness. But it also affects the family and the people supporting the person. Mental illness can put huge strains on the whole family.

I still think we need to get better at working out how to support families/ people where there is mental illness. We still need to get better at talking about it.

Over the last few years, I have written 2 children’s books, one for younger children- Mummy’s Got Bipolar and one for older children- Can I tell you about Bi-polar Disorder. The aim of the books is to help inform children and adults about Bi-polar. One of these books has also been turned into a free animation. Links are below:


Mummy’s Got Bipolar

Mummy’s Got Bipolar animation

Can I tell you about Bi-polar Disorder?




Start of a new academic year



The bulk of my work is as a nurture consultant, supporting 4 yr olds in their reception year. Starting school is a major transition and can be so overwhelming for children and parents. The children I and my colleagues support have been identified as needing some extra nurture and extra support. However, in the first few days and weeks, all the new children ( and many of the parents ) need that extra nurture and support. The move to school is such a big change, even for those children who have been in early years settings full time. They are taking on so much new information, new experiences, there are not as many staff as there were in the nursery, the school is often louder, bigger, lots of children. There are many new noises, sights, sounds, smells, everything is often different, that can be so overwhelming even for the most confident and able child.

With all these new changes children will often be exhausted, I often hear parents who have had children in full-time nursery say that school shouldn’t be any different. It is important to understand that change is tiring, change makes us as adults feel exhausted. Think about when you started a new job; I bet you were exhausted at the end of the week; it is just the same with our children. The brain is taking on so much new information, it is working so hard, and this is tiring. So my tip is whether your child is starting infant school, junior school or senior school expect them to be very tired at the end of the week. Acknowledge this and support them with these feelings, they may well be more snappy, emotional, irritable, be there for them in these feelings. Acknowledge how they feel and validate those feelings for them. It is ok to be tired and to feel overwhelmed and to feel a bit scared at the start of something new. Be kind and gentle to them; this is a time of big change, they need to be supported and nurtured.

Also as parents, this can be a hard time for us, many of us cried when our child started school or senior school ( or university!), we can feel worried about how they will survive, overwhelmed by the change that is happening. Be kind to yourself, offer yourself kind words, do something that makes you feel happy, that might be eating cake or going for a run or a swim, speak to someone you know and trust about your feelings.

Support for you



During this year I have been writing a book about the wellbeing of adults who look after children, it is almost finished!. I am at the stage of finalising, checking, pulling it together. As I finish this book, it feels almost ironic that I have written this book while supporting and working with two children who’s story is deeply complex and very sad. In my experience of working with children for over 25 years, there are always one or two that stay with you, that you don’t ever forget. The two I am working with this year fall into that category. This year I am supporting their Ta’s and their teachers, and together we are helping them to feel safe and loved and protected when everything else around them is changing and falling apart. Our focus is on nurturing them, protecting them, enabling them to express how they feel, our focus is not on learning.


This has probably been one of the most emotionally demanding experiences I have had in work, and it has highlighted for me again how vitally important it is to have the right support in place when you are working in emotionally demanding situations. My job is to support the children but also to support the staff, to talk with them, listen to them, guide them, supervise them. There have been moments this year, when we have cried together, there have been moments when we have shared our deep frustration and anger at what is happening around the children, that we have no control over. Each week I remind the staff how they need to take care of themselves, how they need to be kind and gentle to themselves and do something that makes them feel good.

We are only able to help and support children who are finding life very hard when we have support ourselves. I have a fantastic supervisor, although we don’t see each other every day, I am always able to ring her when I need to talk through a situation. This week she left me chocolate in my pigeon hole! She knows me well, as that always helps me to feel loved and supported!.

If you are working in an emotionally challenging situation, think about who is supporting you, what is in place to help you offload, who is there to listen to you? This could be your supervisor, manager or colleague. If you don’t have this in place, then it needs addressing, and you need to ask for support.