Tag Archives: mental health

Re-connecting with nature

 

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This last week has been a half term holiday for me, a small break from working in schools, an opportunity to refresh and relax a bit. I have spent large chunks of the week re-connecting with nature. I spend a lot of time with children outside, helping them re-connect with their feelings while outside, this is great but it is work, I work hard while with the children commenting, supporting, observing, modelling to staff, supporting staff and enabling the child to engage.

So this week I felt that I needed to reconnect my feelings with nature. When you work with children who find life hard, who become dysregulated quickly, it is so important to be aware of your own feelings, emotions and needs. I spend a lot of my time telling staff they need to be kind to themselves, so I need to make sure I do that myself!

Since a trip to Denmark over 5 years ago, I have developed a love of foraging!. So this week I have been enjoying foraging and cooking. I have enjoyed cooking nettle soup, elderflower cordial and red clover cordial. I have also enjoyed times of walking barefoot on grass, in meadows and on a beach. I love the experience of walking barefooted, it makes you feel more connected to the earth, more aware of what is around you. This morning I took my usual early morning Sunday walk in the meadow at the back of our house, I love the beauty of this space and how it changes over the season. It is now almost at full height, with the various grasses, clover, wild orchids and oxeye daisy’s growing. There is a path mowed around the edge of the meadow, for the community to be able to walk around and enjoy it without trampling all the wild flowers. I walked it this morning barefooted, I noticed this made me really slow down, really take notice of what was around me. This felt very timely as I know I am about to enter my busiest term of the year, ending with current children, meeting new children and supporting an extra four year six children, as well as training and writing. Lots to look forward to.

 

Photo of Tunley meadow

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How will you be kind to yourself this week?

 

 

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I have spent my week mostly asking this question to the teachers and TA’s that I work with. It’s the end of the term, the teachers are exhausted, the children are a mix of being irritable and bouncy! they inevitably pick up on the stress of the staff and this, in turn, leads them to respond in ways which the staff finds hard. So, everyone, this week has been saying how much they are looking forward to the week off, but then in the next breath, the teachers have been telling me the work they need to do, the planning that has to be done, the reports that have to be written. So my question has been how will you be kind to yourself  this week?

When we are busy, when we are stressed, those are the times it is particularly important to be kind to ourselves. For one teacher I suggested that each day in half term she did one thing for herself that she enjoyed, that made her feel good. She looked a bit blank and wasn’t sure what that could be, I told her that for me I like to bake or garden, those are 2 things I enjoy and find therapeutic. She agreed that she loved baking and would try this.

I am interested in how we learn to be kind to ourselves and what different people do for this, I have one friend who loves running, Jenny  ran through her treatment of cancer last year, this was one way she could be kind to herself. I have another friend who loves knitting and finds the process of knitting helps her to switch off. My husband cycles, if he doesn’t have a chance to cycle in a week he becomes agitated, this weekend he is cycling to and around the Isle of Wight with a group of friends and Amos Trust, to me that is an extreme way to be kind to himself, but it works for him!.

During my week off from schools it will be an opportunity to start a new chapter, the next one is on staff well-being, it feels pretty timely after this last week!; but along with writing I plan to be  kind to myself by gardening each day, my garden at this time of year brings me so much joy and pleasure ( as long as the slugs don’t eat everything!).

Looking after ourselves

 

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The importance of looking after ourselves can so often be overlooked. I think this is particularly the case for people working in the caring professions, where our role is to look out for the needs of others. Taking care of ourselves can at times be layered and it isn’t always easy to work out what we need to do. Other times it is very simple. One day this week a child I work with was sitting on the classroom carpet, he leant forward, with his head on the floor; I knelt down behind him, gently rubbed his back and spoke to him. He turned around and without saying anything he leant into me, he just wanted to be cuddled. At that moment his needs were really quite simple, he needed to be held, he needed to know someone was there for him, that he was loved and cared for. It was a privilege to be able to offer him the comfort he needed in that moment.

Sometimes as adults we find it difficult to recognise what our needs are, how we can increase and enhance our own well-being, but we just know, as that little boy did, that we don’t feel right.There are times when we need to ask ourselves challenging questions and when we need to admit we don’t know what we are doing or that we are not very happy with the situation we are in. At these times, we need to find others that we trust, that we can go to, talk to, and find support from. Sometimes we are not able to enhance our  own well-being by ourselves but we need others to walk alongside us and allow ourselves to be nurtured, held, supported and guided.

This morning I knew I needed to be outside, to wander through the meadow at the back of our house and enjoy the space, quietness, and beauty around me. This time gave me space to think and reflect on conversations I’d had this week, to think about and be thankful for the people who have held me, supported me and loved me this week and have helped to improve my well-being.

 

Image-Tunley meadow early this morning.

Spending time in wild places with a heart of gladness

IMG_7950 As a family, we were really fortunate to spend a few days this week in Cornwall, at Porthcurno, almost at the end of Cornwall. This is such a beautiful part of the country. I love the wildness of the landscape there. A mix of the cliffs, beautiful beaches and wild waves. I am an early morning person, unlike the rest of my family. My habit on holiday is to get up early and walk. There is something very beautiful about walking first thing in the morning when no one else is around. I always find being outside in nature, but particularly being by the coast deeply nurturing, life enhancing and also healing. There is something about the wildness of the coast of Cornwall which I find very alluring, and I find the magnificent space gives me space to find a deep calmness.

In the week previous to going away I had been working on finishing 2 chapters of my book, planning for the children’s book on mental health and writing some training I will be delivering soon. These were all a welcome break from my term time nurture work. I loved the creativity they brought but they were still quite demanding. Having a few days by the coast brought with it some welcomed time and space. Time to relax and unwind, time to notice the beauty around me, time to enjoy walking and time to enjoy feeling the sand and freezing sea.

I found the time and the environment gave me space to think of new ideas and activities for my nurture work. It gave me some fresh perspective on my business and work, and most of all it reminded me of how much there is to be grateful for. During the time away I read the book Mindful Walking by Adam Ford. He talked about how walking in a mindful way can encourage a spirit of gratefulness. There is something about walking and noticing the beauty around that can really promote a deep sense of awe, wonder, and gratefulness, particularly in a landscape that is wild. I came back reminded of how much I enjoy my work and being self-employed and how fortunate I am to have some creative opportunities ahead.

Supporting young people with stress and anxiety

 

 

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One night this week I was running an information session on stress and anxiety in young people, for year 10 parents at my children’s old senior school. This session came out of a piece of work I did two and half years ago when I still worked for a large children’s charity. Back then I became really aware of the rising number of young people we were seeing who were suffering from stress and anxiety. I spoke with a many young people and heard their stories, their experiences, their worries, and fears. I made recommendations to the local authority about what they and schools could do and I made suggestions to the charity about future work they could develop. At the time, this felt like a really significant piece of work. I had high hopes that we would get new funding and we would deliver a much larger piece of work, but it wasn’t to be. Our project was closed and our work in this area didn’t continue.

The request to run this session came as a surprise, in preparation for the session, I looked back at the initial findings and comments from young people, and was reminded yet again how important their comments were and how broken and sad some of our young people are. During the evening session, I was really struck by how much this school cared about the mental health of their young people, and how concerned the parents were.

We put so much pressure on young people today. We have such high expectations of them, particularly in education, the government is expecting more and more from them. We expect that young people should be able to achieve highly, be organised, know what they want to do with their lives, and make ‘sensible decisions’. Whilst forgetting that they are trying to figure out who they are, what their place is in the world, and what they believe. Last year I read a book by Dan Siegel called Brainstorm. He argues that a young person brain is not fully developed until they are 25. I shared this with the parents. This was news to them and many commented that it made so much sense. So when our teens are finding it difficult to make good decisions we need to remember that there is still a lot of development taking place inside their heads.

One of my main messages to the parents was about being there for young people; young people need to have someone who will listen to them, they need to feel loved and know that they belong. They need to hear they are special and that they are accepted for who they are. I now work weekly with 4-year-olds, providing nurture support for children who are finding school life difficult. The main thing 4 years olds need is to know they are loved, they are special, that they belong and they are accepted.

I have reminded again that the needs our children have don’t change as they get older. The way they communicate might change, some of their behaviour might change but ultimately they need to know that even when they are broken, someone will be there to help transform their brokenness and pain. There is a Japanese word for a form of Japanese pottery called Kintsugi. These are pots that become broken in the firing process and are then repaired with a special lacquer of gold or silver, transforming their brokeness into a thing of beauty. I love this image and see it as a way we need to view woking with children and teens who are troubled, broken and finding life hard. We need to find ways to bring out their beauty, and to transform their brokenness. I firmly believe one way to start that process is by being there for them, loving them and accepting them.

Rising number of teenagers being admitted to hospital with eating disorders

On the news today, they have spoken about the rise in teenagers being admitted to hospital with eating disorders. The number has doubled in the last two years – http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32975654/eating-disorder-hospital-admissions-nearly-double

I wasn’t surprised when I heard the news headline this morning. I grew up with a mum who had an eating disorder for over 30 years. I have friends who have struggled with eating disorders. A friend’s wife died of anorexia and my daughters each have friends who have eating disorders. I have also worked with some wonderful young people who have eating disorders, some of whom have been admitted to hospital for this.

There has always been pressure to fit in with others, to look beautiful, to have the perfect body etc. However, we all know this has greatly increased over the last few years with social media. Last year I did some research with young people about who they could talk to when they were feeling stressed, unhappy, depressed. Over half of the young people I spoke to had struggled with eating disorders to varying degrees. All of the young people I spoke to said that they didn’t have anyone to speak to, that family didn’t know how to help or couldn’t help them and that school was not a place where they could speak to people. They all said they needed to be taught about mental health and eating disorders at school, and they all said school needed to be a place where they could confide in someone, find out information and seek out help. They all felt that schools were scared to listen to them, were scared to really hear about their experience and were scared to ask them how they were.

There are so many issues involved in this topic, but we need to start by providing children and young people with clear information and education. We need to have adults who are able and willing to listen to them, to hear their fears and their worries, who won’t shy away from asking the difficult questions and won’t shy away from the difficult topics.