Category Archives: relaxing

Embracing stillness and slowness

 

IMG_0257

So much of the nurture role I do is helping children and the staff who support them to find a place of calmness and safety. There are many tools my colleagues, and I use to do this, it’s not rocket science! But it does need practitioners who can be calm and secure themselves. When you have a child who is throwing, kicking, biting, running, etc. because they are scared and frightened and have overwhelming feelings, they desperately need an adult who is solid and calm to help them feel safe and to come to a place of calmness.

Over the last three years of doing this work, I have realised increasingly how important it is for me to have space and encounter stillness outside of work. I firmly believe it is from a place of stillness and silence that I can become nourished to do my role. Daily swimming and gardening are important aspects for me in nourishing this. In the last six months, I have been writing a book about adults wellbeing, an important section in this book is about being comfortable with silence and stillness and be able to slow down.

This week we are away on the Isle of Mull, it’s not a very large Island, but many of the roads are narrow with passing points. If you are driving around the island this forces slow driving, also the scenery is so stunning, so you end up stopping regularly to watch an Eagle, look for Otters, or stop for the many Highland Cows and Sheep that are on the road. Although Mull has many visitors, it is easy to be in the hills or a beach and encounter nobody. What I have loved about this week away is embracing the stillness, at home I regularly walk around the community meadow at the back of our house and I love the stillness this brings, but here on Mull, it is another level of stillness and slowness and silence. To be able to spot Otters or watch for the Sea Eagles or Golden Eagles you have to sit and be still and watch, I have learnt how wildlife watching is such a mindful exercise.

The summer break from the nurture work is a time for me to take stock, reflect, have space to think about my writing and training, to be creative and plan. It is also a time to read, to nourish myself, to feed my soul. I feel this week of slowness, of big open spaces, of stillness and silence is a good starting point.

Helping children to find stillness

 

Photo.3_rest

This is a blog piece that I wrote recently for Childcare Expo , it links to a chapter in my new book Promoting Young Children’s Emotional health and Wellbeing 

Our lives are very busy, and our children’s lives are often busy also, as adults we know that we need to find times of stillness and relaxation, to enhance our well-being but how often do we think about helping our children to find stillness?.

Several years ago I was on a study trip to a kindergarten in Denmark; the children had spent half the day in the woods, exploring and discovering. Later, back in the nursery garden, I noticed one girl lying on her back on a wooden water trough, she was gazing at the blue sky for around 30 minutes, this girl was in her space, she had found a moment of stillness. The image stayed with me as I came back to the UK, I started to question what opportunity we give to children and ourselves to find stillness. I spoke with colleagues, and often I was told that children ‘ don’t do stillness,’ some staff said to me of quiet areas they had in their setting, but often acknowledged these didn’t work as intended. I knew from my experience of being a parent that it was possible to help children experience stillness.

In one of my current roles, I work as a nurture consultant, supporting four-year-olds who are finding the transition into school difficult. An essential element of this role is supporting staff to help the children find times of stillness and calm daily; this is relevant for all the children. Some examples we use are:
Create a space in the classroom/nursery/ outdoors which is a safe, quiet area- you could use a tent, a den, have cushions, blankets inside this space, make it cosy. Explain to the children this is the space they can use when they would like some quiet time, time to be calmer and relax.
Make a sensory bottle ( Look at pinterest for instructions), or use a snow globe. These are excellent to use with children who are feeling agitated or anxious. Acknowledge how they are feeling, shake the globe or bottle and together watch the glitter solution as it begins to slow down; at the same time get them to put their hands on their tummy’s and notice their breathing, helping them to be calmer.

Use Mindfulness and Yoga with children; there are some excellent resources for teaching young children mindfulness and Yoga, examples to look at are:

The Mindful Child (2010) by Susan Kaiser-Greenland
My Daddy is a Pretzel: Yoga for Parents and Kids (2012) by Baron Baptise

Using stories to help children find stillness- A collection of stories called Relax Kids by Marneta Viegas. They have a short meditation at the end to help children find stillness and calmness

Helping children learn how to find some stillness and calmness is an essential part of enhancing their well-being.

How do we help children have a good wellbeing?

 

IMG_8897

Wellbeing is a term we hear a lot about for adults and young people, but we don’t hear so much about it for young children. We know that the rates of teenage mental health problems are rising alarmingly, we are aware that children and young people are feeling increasingly stressed and distressed. I passionately believe if we can help young children to have a good wellbeing then we are setting them off on a great start in life. To help children have a good wellbeing we need to be intentional about it.

One critical aspect of a child having good wellbeing is by them knowing that they are loved, they are loved for the unique and precious individual that they are. Parents and Grandparents clearly have a crucial role in letting children know that they are unconditionally loved, but I also believe that Key workers, Ta’s, children’s workers also have a role in showing children that they are loved and wanted. We show this through the words we use, the way we hold children. Part of my job is as a nurture consultant; I have seven children and schools that I support throughout the year. Every time I see one of my nurture children I ensure I show delight in seeing them that day, I smile at them, I look them in the eyes and tell them how lovely it is to see them today, how much I have been looking forward to our time together.

If you work with children, think about how you welcome them each day. By showing warmth in your smile and your words, through noticing how they look; maybe they have a spiderman hat on or a new hair band in their hair. Through seeing things that are important to the children and telling them how delighted you are to see them, this helps a child to arrive feeling wanted and loved.

In my new book Promoting Young Children’s emotional wellbeing, I explore a few essential ways we can further help to embed this. Below are a few examples:
Playing outside– there is so much research showing the need for children to spend quality time being outside. Giving children opportunities to explore, discover, climb, run. As parents we can do this by taking walks each day, going to the park, going to a field. Playing bubbles outside is a joyful and cheap activity to do with children outside.

Sensory play– giving children the chance to explore with all their senses, children learn through exploring and using all their senses. A very simple example of sensory play is play dough; you can buy this very cheaply or make your own ( there are many recipes on Pinterest)

Using emotional language– We need to help children understand their feelings and emotions, by using emotion language and giving them an emotional vocabulary we are enabling them to understand their feelings and also other peoples. From babies we can start to talk about their feelings e.g when a baby is crying to be fed we can respond with gently saying ‘ it’s ok I know you are feeling hungry, I am going to feed you now’. With a toddler who is crying because their parent has left them at nursery we can say ‘ I can see you are really sad that Mummy has gone, she will be back later I am here for you now” .
Un-rushing & stillness– Our lives are often very busy, and our children’s lives are often busy too. We need to help children to find times to rest, to experience moments of stillness. Are there spaces in your setting or your home where your child can lay back and relax or daydream?. You can also use Yoga and Mindfulness with young children both of these practices help children to find stillness. CBeebies have a children’s program called Waybuloo which teaches different yoga poses.

Being creative– creativity is an essential part of wellbeing.We need to give children the space to be creative and to be creative with them. Find times to sing and dance with your children, dancing and singing together with your toddler can be a joyful experience. Giving children the opportunity to experiment with paint, chalks, making things with cardboard boxes, these will all help your child’s wellbeing.

Be co-explorers – Children have a passion for learning and discovering, they need adults around them who want to learn and explore with them. I believe one of our roles as adults is to be a co-explorer and adventure with our children. Children are great at becoming fascinated in something, this might be the snail and sticks on the road as you are walking to the shops, or it may be a fascination with dinosaurs. As adults, we can show interest and delight with children and learn alongside them.

Our wellbeing -And finally, if we are going to help children to have a good wellbeing we need to pay attention to our wellbeing. We need to take care of ourselves; we need to ensure we are eating well, exercising, having rest and doing things which make us happy.
I explore all these themes more fully in my book, this is available from Tuesday 21st March, it can be ordered from Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

I am also discussing these in a workshop in Bath at Castle Farm Cafe on Thursday 6th April at 7pm,  book tickets on their website.

How do we relax ?

img_0111

This week has been half term, and I have been thinking about how we relax and find space, this has been the area I have been writing about in the new book I am writing for Jessica Kingsley Publishers on promoting wellbeing for adults who work wth children.

During the week I have been having conversations with friends about how they relax, about finding space and we have been thinking about what this means and how we do it. One friend recognised that her work life is so full on at the moment that when she gets home, she eats and then sleeps, the idea of finding space and relaxing is a challenge.

In my recent book-Promoting young children’s emotional health and wellbeing one of my chapters is titled un-rushing and stillness, in this chapter I explore how we need to help children to find time to stop, relax, be still and I offer ideas on how this possible. However, if we are going to help children and young people to do this, we need to be able to find time and space to relax ourselves, I really believe this is essential.

I asked 25 people how they relax; answers were varied from reading, cleaning the house, wallpapering, going for a walk alone, listening to music or podcast, knitting, and cooking. For people who have very manual jobs the answers were often linked to activities which were not physical, for people who use their minds a lot, the answers seem to be activities which helped them to mentally switch off, for people who worked in caring professions the answers were often activities which gave them solitude. The conclusion I have come to is that it doesn’t matter how you relax but the importance is recognising the need to relax and to be intentional about taking time, finding space to spend some time relaxing.

During this week I drove to Dorset to visit a friend in the hospital, I decided to spend some time by the sea before my visit. I knew I wanted some space just to be. I had an hour at Lulworth Cove, this time was wonderful, giving me the opportunity to relax, to find some peace and enjoy the beauty around me.