Category Archives: noticing beauty

Awe and Wonder

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One of the joys of working with young children is their sense of excitement and wonder with the world, the way they delight at a snail or a dandelion can be delightful to see. This sense of awe and wonder is often lost in adults; we become jaded, worn down by the misery that we hear on the news, this feels especially relevant today on the back of more terrorist attacks.

This morning I walked around the community meadow, this is one of my weekly rituals, each Sunday morning I walk, think and enjoy the early morning stillness. The joy of walking around the same space each week, all year round, is that you notice the changes. This morning it was great to see how high the grass has grown, the recent rain has helped the growth. I also saw the wild orchids had come back. I have seen these orchids growing year after year for the last 23 years that we have lived here, but they still fill me with a sense of awe and wonder when I see them back, each year. By choosing to stop and notice, by engaging with a sense of beauty and awe, I feel this is nourishing and nurturing myself.

In the yearly cycle of nurture work we are now entering the last term, the term when we stop and reflect on what the children have achieved this year, on how far the children and the staff have developed. I love this term as it is an opportunity to spend time reflecting back on how distressed and unhappy the children were in September, to think about the fears we had back then and to recognise the progress that has been made and celebrate that achievement. I see this term as the chance to celebrate the awe and wonder of the children we work with over the year and recognise the change and the difference we have made.

I think as adults we need to be open to noticing the beauty that is around us, that might be in the people who surround us or in our environment.

Choosing Joy

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This week I read a piece by the Henri Nouwen Society about choosing to find joy. They propose that finding joy is an act we can choose to engage in. So often it easy to think that joy is something which people have when they are in a job they love, when they have money and all is well for them. However joy can be something that we choose to engage in, this is not to negate from the feelings we have at difficult and painful times but it is to recognise that we can still find joy in moments of deep hardness. It is often so easy to get stuck focussing on negative thoughts, feelings, and actions. The challenge is to look for the joyful moments. For me, this is particularly important when we are working with children who present with challenging behaviors and lives. The children I support through my Nurture work can at times present with deeply challenging, sad stories and lives, which can lead to very challenging behavior. It is so easy to get stuck in problems, in the moments that have gone wrong and forgot or not notice the glimpses of joy. To choose to see the moments of joy takes a very purposeful and mindful decision. Choosing joy can often be about noticing and picking up on small details. One way of practicing an intentional act of finding joy is through taking time at the end of each day and asking the question, “Where did I find joy today.”

This morning I found joy while walking in the early morning, I saw a deer, rabbits and a buzzard, I found joy while picking wild garlic to put in the bread I plan to bake today. Where will you find joy today?

Making memories

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During this last week in my nurture work, I have been thinking about how I help children to make good memories about their time in reception class. This is part of my thinking and preparing around transition work. For the children I am working with some transitions are the movement onto the next class at the end of the school year, and for other children, it is transitions of moving away.

One of the activities I do each year is get children to take photos of what they enjoy doing in school, the children love this, together we wander around the classroom and school, and they take photos of the things which are important to them and that they enjoy. I usually make these into a simple book for them, but this year I have bought scrapbooks, and I will print out the photos and get the children to stick in their photos and make comments about their photos. We will also take pictures over the coming weeks of activities they are enjoying in school; this might include a picture of their TA and teacher, hand prints of them and their friends. We will use this scrapbook together to share with their future teacher and Ta and then the child can take it home with them over the holidays, to share with family and remember their good memories.

As adults we have an important role in helping children to make positive memories about their time with us. Having positive memories that we can recall enhances children’s wellbeing and also our wellbeing. I know when I am feeling stressed or low I will look at photos of positive times with my family and friends , this helps me to remember times when I felt happy.

As well as thinking about how I help the children I work with to have positive times and good wellbeing I also need to be mindful of my own, so this morning I went for a walk with my husband in the local woods, looking for Bluebells and taking photos to act as a reminder.

Growing

 

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These last few weeks I have been growing plants with children, we planted cress faces and planted peas in pots. I love the activity of growing plants with children,  it is hugely sensory and the children I work with need many sensory experiences to help them feel calm and in touch with their feeling and emotions. Also, there is something very beautiful about seeing a child who can find life and school challenging to be supported to nurture and grow something; it can give them a massive sense of achievement. As I went back into school this week all the children were excitedly showing me the peas that had started growing ( the cress worked less well!). The children were all taking such pride in watering and checking on their plant each day. There is the risk the plants won’t grow; we discovered cress doesn’t survive the weekend without being watered, but the staff and I were able to support the children to understand this and think about what we could try differently. The activity of growing something with children is an excellent way to help them with their wellbeing. It gives them sensory experiences; we can use lots of emotion language while doing it, we can talk about the importance of being cared for and tell children ‘ my job is to care for you and together we are gong to care for this plant’.

I know many great examples of nurseries and schools who have gardens that children help to tend and look after, RHS have a schools project with ideas and suggestion on how your school or nursery can set up a garden. Many of the children I work with can find school work hard and a challenge. However they often respond very well to being outside and gardening, if they have support in taking responsibility for some of the growing they can often thrive and develop in this role and take real pride in what they have done. I wrote a blog piece about being outside last week and the research showing how good this is for our wellbeing and children’s wellbeing. Gardening is also recognised as an excellent activity for wellbeing; the charity Mind has many gardening projects across the country set up to help people’s mental health. I know for myself Gardening is one activity that helps me to feel calm, I find gardening a very mindful activity, I become totally focussed on the activity, and it allows me to switch off from everything else. I think this is the same for many children who are stressed and anxious.

This weekend I plan to spend lots of time in my garden and greenhouse.

Being outside is good for our wellbeing

 

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Yesterday I spent most of the day outside gardening, under the blue sky, enjoying the early spring sun. I felt the happiest, most relaxed and the most awake and alert that I had felt all week. I know that being outside is good for my well-being, I can feel the difference it has on me. My 17 yr old daughter also spent some time outside taking a break from her A level work; she was sawing branches off a tree that needed cutting back, again she was the most happiest and calm that she had been all week. We could both see and feel the difference spending time outside was having on our wellbeing.

We know there is lots of research on the need for children to spend more time outside, I wrote a chapter on this in my book Promoting Young Children’s emotional health and wellbeing.  There is now growing research to show how being outside can have enormous benefits for adults wellbeing as well as children. The UK mental health charity Mind has information about Ecotherapy; this is about experiencing nature, being outside, working outside e,g gardening, they suggest this therapy can be used to help with mental health problems. I have been reading a new book this week called The Nature Fix by Florence Williams, in her first chapter she talks about a growing interest in Japan called ‘Shinrin-yoku’ in English this means Forest therapy; this is about people spending time in forests, it is viewed in Japan as a preventive therapy. The effects of being in forests have been measured with hundreds of individuals by Chiba University researchers. Their research showed that a casual walk in a forest had a 12.7% decrease in the participant’s cortisol levels ( stress levels) and a 103 % increase in the parasympathetic nervous activity ( Relax state). ( Miyazaki 2012). Japan have realised that the stress levels of many people living there are very high, partly due to long hours that they work. They have now set up forest trails in many forests across Japan to encourage people to get out into nature and alleviate some of the stress they have been encountering in their busy work lives.

I think the challenge can be finding the time and opportunity to be outside; it might be worth considering for this next week can you find some time to be outside? This could be taking a coffee break outside, going for a walk on a lunch break, finding some woods to walk in today. If you work with children how are you going to incorporate outdoor play and outdoor learning into your week? This will be hugely beneficial to you and the children.

How do we relax ?

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This week has been half term, and I have been thinking about how we relax and find space, this has been the area I have been writing about in the new book I am writing for Jessica Kingsley Publishers on promoting wellbeing for adults who work wth children.

During the week I have been having conversations with friends about how they relax, about finding space and we have been thinking about what this means and how we do it. One friend recognised that her work life is so full on at the moment that when she gets home, she eats and then sleeps, the idea of finding space and relaxing is a challenge.

In my recent book-Promoting young children’s emotional health and wellbeing one of my chapters is titled un-rushing and stillness, in this chapter I explore how we need to help children to find time to stop, relax, be still and I offer ideas on how this possible. However, if we are going to help children and young people to do this, we need to be able to find time and space to relax ourselves, I really believe this is essential.

I asked 25 people how they relax; answers were varied from reading, cleaning the house, wallpapering, going for a walk alone, listening to music or podcast, knitting, and cooking. For people who have very manual jobs the answers were often linked to activities which were not physical, for people who use their minds a lot, the answers seem to be activities which helped them to mentally switch off, for people who worked in caring professions the answers were often activities which gave them solitude. The conclusion I have come to is that it doesn’t matter how you relax but the importance is recognising the need to relax and to be intentional about taking time, finding space to spend some time relaxing.

During this week I drove to Dorset to visit a friend in the hospital, I decided to spend some time by the sea before my visit. I knew I wanted some space just to be. I had an hour at Lulworth Cove, this time was wonderful, giving me the opportunity to relax, to find some peace and enjoy the beauty around me.

Enjoying the moment and practicing gratitude.

 

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At times life can feel busy, fraught as if things are happening and I get caught in them rather than actively taking part in them. During this month I have been trying hard to feel present, to enjoy the moments and to practice gratitude. I have started a journal this year, a journal to write down the things I am feeling grateful for. This practice of gratitude helps me to see the good moments, even in a day which has felt very hard. This last week has had some wonderful moments to be grateful for, a walk in beautiful sunshine with my daughter, excellent feedback on Mummy’s Got Bipolar book, children joyfully engaging in an activity, attending a protest march, watching beautiful sunrises as I arrive back from my daily swim

This last week it has felt particularly important to be grateful for the life I have and the opportunities I have. Last Sunday we spent time with a close friend who is dying of cancer, the conversations were around the time she has left, the things she wants to do, her regrets about what she hasn’t done but also the joy of the life she has had. These conversations brought to the front of my mind the importance of enjoying the here and the now, the importance of embracing and loving the life I have. I am also aware as a woman in the UK I am so fortunate; I run my own business, I have the freedom to be creative and try new things, I feel safe in the area that I live and in the job that I choose to do. I don’t agree with the politics of the leaders of my country, but at least I am not hearing that our Prime Minister is advocating the groping of women and the verbal mockery of disabled people. For this reason, I took part in the women’s march in Bristol  yesterday, to celebrate the fact that I am free to protest, I am a strong, healthy and able woman who can have her voice heard and I can speak out against injustices.

This poster from yesterday felt like words of truth for me, I am grateful that I am a strong woman, that I am surrounded by strong women who are my friends and that I have raised two strong daughters. For these things, I am very grateful.