I think the idea of being vulnerable and being open to being vulnerable is a challenging one. Often being vulnerable is seen as a failing. We are often led to believe we need to be strong all the time, we can’t show our true feelings, raw emotions or our vulnerability.
But I have found working with children who are finding life difficult requires us to be vulnerable and to recognise how vulnerable they are being. When we are working with children directly we need to be emotionally stable, calm and resilient, but when we step away from the child, and we are reflecting on the work with colleagues, it is ok, in fact, it is good to be vulnerable, and to be honest about how the work is making us feel. Inevitability the work can touch us in unexpected ways and we need to be able to acknowledge that.
I have been thinking about vulnerability quite a lot recently, partly prompted by a book I have read, ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brene Brown. She believes it is vital that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, allowing ourselves to recognise what we find hard, what scares us and what barriers we put up to stop us really being in touch with our feelings. This has made me think a lot about what makes me feel vulnerable. She proposes that by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable we are daring greatly and living wholeheartedly. The last couple of years has been a massive time of change for me, started by being made redundant from the children’s charity I had worked with for 20 years. I chose to become self-employed, I felt and still do that I was putting myself in a vulnerable place, waiting to see if anyone wanted me. More recently I have been asked to write a book, in many ways this is terrifying and I am aware it is making myself very vulnerable; the messages in my head are saying it won’t be good enough, I will be judged as being a rubbish writer. Brene Brown suggests we need to make ourselves vulnerable, to be daring, try new things, realise that there will be negativity but we need to give things a try.
I know the 4 yr olds I see each week are being vulnerable each day at school when they try something new that terrifies them when they manage to sit in a lesson when inside they don’t believe they can do it. I am hoping 2016 will be a year when I allow myself to be more daring, to allow myself to try more things that make me feel uncomfortable.
Book referenced: Daring Greatly- how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. Brene Brown. Penguin